What is the most inappropriate experience you have had with a friend's daughter?

At 18 I was friends with an older couple from church. Their oldest kid, a daughter, was 13.

He worked offshore, so somehow I got asked to escort her to a ‘father/daughter’ banquet. I did.

I really couldn’t understand why she would ask ME to do that with her. WHY ME ??

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When I asked what she meant by that, she told me she heard her mom and dad talking about me and my dates and knew what they were saying. She said she wanted us to ‘go parking’ and ‘have sex’. And she said she knew what she was saying, had thought about it a lot, and had decided that she wanted her first time to be with me.

She fought hard, did all the right treatments. But she never had a sweet 16 party.

I told a close and trusted older friend about what she had wanted me to do with her a few years later. She put it all into perspective for me really easy. I felt a little stupid it wasn’t obvious to me.

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Her death wreaked havoc in her family as well. Her mom and dad divorced 2 years later and moved away with her younger brothers.

I “dated” his 14-year-old daughter when I was 18/19.

I eventually told her mom about what she had asked me and had wanted us to do, after a few months. She just laughed and hugged me, and told me I handled it really well. Then she cried on my shoulder and told me she had no idea how to relate to what her daughter must be thinking or feeling.

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We talked about casual normal stuff, and she brought up the dance and how much fun she had.

Was our ‘relationship’ really INAPPROPRIATE ???

I said sure.

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We would hold hands and ‘cuddle’, and I even let her kiss me when she wanted to. But the main thing we would do is sit with me holding and hugging her, mostly at her house watching TV with her family.

She made me swear and promise. I did.

I found out the following month what was really going on, and it still hurts me today, almost 40 years later.

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Especially another month later when her parents told everyone at church about her cancer diagnosis.

Inappropriate but understandable…

She had fun at the events, and I didn’t feel too weird about doing it.

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It unnerved me terribly. I was in shock, but stammered out that I’d think about it. It was the only thing I could think to say.

The world is a much more horrible place without her in it.

I said it was also cause I loved her like a little sister and didn’t want her hurt in any way.

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When we got to the corner and turned to head back, she stopped and asked if she could ask me about something without me ever telling her parents.

Maybe it’s cause I just wish I had another chance to see her, and am confessing my guilt about not being able to save her.

I don’t regret turning down her offer. She wasn’t mentally ‘straight’ enough to even make a decision like that. Lord knows what she was going through in her head.

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When we got back to her house she went to her room and didn’t come out the rest of the time I was there. Her mom checked on her before I left, and just came back and told her dad she was crying. But they didn’t seem too worried about it.

A few months later her dad asked if I’d be willing to take her to a dance. I did.

Why was she even wanting to do such a thing?? Especially with me. And more especially at her age. It made no sense.

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And It would have been inappropriate no matter her circumstances, as I was barely shy of 19.

After her 14th birthday party, she came over to me and asked if we could talk. In private.

We went for a short walk around the complex.

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We even had a few “dates”, almost like she had asked me. (Just without the sex part.) And I actually enjoyed the putt-putt golf and movies and stuff we did together.

I cried like a baby at her grave. And I was so mad at the world. I still have a hard heart about her being taken so young.

A week later I told her that I had thought about it. I told her I didn’t think she and I should be doing anything like that due to the age thing. I explained she should wait til she was older and maybe do that with her husband, or at least a guy she was dating or in love with.

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I spent a lot more time with her after I was finally told.

Imagine my shock when she said that she wanted to go on a ‘real date’ with me, and that she wanted me to treat her just like I had my other girlfriends.

She even held my hand after a short distance, and I let her, thinking nothing of it except I was flattered and that it was cute.

I would delete it but I already wrote it and don’t like wasting efforts.

At least he said stuff when he was home… He worked a lot more and was gone a lot more now than before. I figured out that he was going half crazy over the situation and not dealing with it well.

She only made it 2 weeks past her 15th birthday party, and she was too weak and sick to really enjoy that.

Sorry people. I don’t know why I even shared that here this morning.

I think her mom really understood why I spent so much time with her, and was glad I kept her mind off things. And maybe I even brought her happiness.

Her dad just made jokes about how he was gonna feel really weird if I got married to his daughter in a few years, and stuff like that. He rarely said anything about her illness that wasn’t about “when she gets better.”

My friend helped me understand better what she was going through mentally, and I came away understanding that when she had asked me to do such a naughty thing with her she probably just wanted to ‘experience life’ and do things that she maybe wouldn’t get to do later in life.

We had repaired our relationship. She began to talk to me and even almost returned to how we were before, and I was glad.

But I do regret not being mature and intelligent enough to deal with it better and avoid upsetting her, and then missing a full month with her.

She begged a little, but I said no. I even joked that her dad would kill me if he found out.

She was really hurt, and wouldn’t speak to me for a month. Even actively avoided me.

I neither know or care.